When I moved to NYC to create what I believe to be a new way of approaching personal growth and spiritual connection, I launched Art of Thriving with nothing but my basket-full of ideas, strong determination and a deep sense of purpose.
My first few weeks in NY were fun, expansive and personally and professionally validating. I was researching websites and asking as many questions as I could. I was going to events, listening to teleseminars and researching every angle of entrepreneurship I could. I was on FIRE!
So much so that I didn’t realize I missed my brother’s b-day.
Or that the laundry piled so high I had no clean underwear! I was married to espressos and canned soup. My shoulders were starting to ache and I was telling myself I had no time for a massage.
As soon as the stress had taken over my body, it was creeping up to ooze out through tears of frustration.
My doubtless anticipation and clear vision was becoming muddled with self-sabotage, fear and crippling anxiety.
My inner mind sounded something like this:
How can I ever keep up with all of it?
This is too overwhelming; I’m not strong enough!
I am getting everything I asked for but it’s too much.
What am I not doing right?
Ever had thoughts like this?
Well, it wasn’t the business causing me stress or that I wasn’t doing something right. Sure, I needed to implement my time management skills, but it went even deeper than that. It was that I didn’t give myself permission to be imperfect. I was trying to maintain the rhythm of my life before being a business owner. There’s compromise that comes with change (you parents know what I’m talking about) and if you don’t decide what you’re willing to let the compromise be (and not be), the default will be your own happiness, sanity and health.
So, I created a STOP DOING LIST.
A list that helped me see how I could leverage my time better. I still needed to “get it all done” but I was ready to make some adjustments that would actually help my business grow and create more ME time.
So, what was on my list? Let me humbly share…
Stop judging myself for what I can’t get to today. Even if it’s a birthday call, it’s ok to call tomorrow.
Stop checking my email every hour.
Stop eating on the go. Just sit down Padma…chew, breathe, relax.
Stop pointing out everything I have to do, and telling everyone around me just how big that list is.
Stop taking phone calls for appointments. Have them e-mail.
Stop eating out twice a week. Cooking with family is so much more fun and healthy.
Stop spending time on writing emails that require repeated information. Copy and paste forms are just fine!
Stop bringing the computer into the bedroom.
Stop working after 9 pm….everyday…no exceptions!
All the doing I stopped, allowed me to actually do more of what I wanted and helped me manage my business hours more efficiently. Guess what, I got a massage! I made home-made pasta with Alex on a Thursday night. I have kept up with all my e-mails, and even though I still have breakdowns, I give myself permission to just crash. Then I learn what I need to adjust.
What can you STOP doing?
It will help you breathe. It will make time for your yoga class. It will make you more present with your friends, family, and best of all, yourself.
And if you’re someone still trying to create a to-do list, write down what you have to accomplish, then next to that column, write what you won’t do to help get it done!
Help inspire other women by posting one thing you will stop doing this week.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
This came at JUST the right time! I’ve been trying to do too much and getting stressed by my constant “to-do” list. I’m going to come up w/ my STOP list, but the first one I came up with is this: watch less TV. So now, as I’m eating my dinner, I’d normally be watching TV. Instead, I’m taking care of stuff on the computer that I’d otherwise stay up late to do. Not perfect (still eating while multi-tasking!), but it’s an improvement…
I’ll keep you posted…
Michele
Excellent. I like it.
I would add the idea of a “got done” list — we all may have intended to accomplish items on our “to do” list, but side tracks and distractions frustrate us. But look at each of those a different way. Almost all of them are “doing” and thus something got done, so at the end of the day (8:55PM) write it down and take credit for it.
Hi Padma – love your post. I’m definitely going to stop pushing myself so hard some days, so that I wear myself out and spend the next few days blobbing out and recuperating! Little and often, as people say about so many things, rather than all at once.
Enjoy your day.
Julia
see you in NYC soon!
xo
Danielle
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